Lessons in Life
by Cherrie
Summary: Is love all that really matters? Shuichi reflects, and leads to the decision that maybe things aren't going as well as he thought.
1. Shuichi Shindou

**Notes and Disclaimers:** Bow down to Maki Murakami, the wonderful creator of Gravitation. I own nothing in this fanfic but the words and the plot. I think I won't have much problems with the issue about yaoi. If you know Gravitation, you _know_ what you're getting yourself into ^.~ 

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 1 - Shuichi Shindou)**

I love Yuki. 

Only an idiot would still try to deny that by now. No, actually, worse than an idiot. After all, Yuki calls me an idiot, but I still know that I love him. Yuki says I'm dumb, stupid, clumsy, childish, and he constantly says that I obviously do not possess a rational human brain. Yuki has a wide vocabulary - his being a writer saw to that - so cough up any negative word from the dictionary, I'm pretty sure I've been called that at least once.

But it doesn't matter, I don't mind it whenever Yuki says those things to me. I still love him anyway. Besides, I know that I'm really stupid sometimes, even Hiro knows that. And his words mean a lot, being that I've practically spent half my life with him when you think about it. But no, all that matters to me is that even if I'm every mistake this world has to offer all rolled up in a ball, someone as perfect as Eiri Yuki still found me valuable enough to keep. 

That is, at least that was all that mattered to me before.

Yuki's been very quiet lately. Not the kind of quiet he is most of the time, everyone knows Yuki's the silent type. No, I'm talking about a different kind of quiet. He hasn't insulted me for more than five days now - that's saying a lot - and he's been drinking far too much for me to count the beer cans. Usually we fight, and he'd tell me how much time he's wasting speaking to an annoying brat like me. But these days, he'll just sit with a blank face in front of his laptop, typing his novels as if he were possessed. 

I've been with Yuki for at least two years now, and that amount of time is enough for me to notice that there are specific days of the year when Yuki goes into such trances. It's the dates, the exact days of a certain month when his memories flood around his mind, reliving a past that both he and I fought hard to erase. Yuki doesn't know it, and I tried to keep it from him lest I add to his worries, but his past has also become a part of the burden that I carry each time I see him like this. 

I have come to the conclusion that I've been selfish. 

All these times, I've dreamt that I could help Yuki out from the grasp of his past, to pull him through the nightmare of trusting someone so much only to end up being betrayed. One cannot deny my loyalty for him, but I realized that maybe loyalty isn't enough. I don't know if love, my love to be precise, would be enough to pull Yuki through. 

Yuki isn't talking to me. We went through another fight a week ago, for what reason I now forgot. This isn't news at all, everyone around us knows that Yuki and I have this tendency to fight at least once a week. Whenever we fight, I always have this feeling of insecurity that maybe Yuki doesn't like me as much as I think he does after all. During such times, I'd tell myself that I may be better than Yuki's past lovers, and it may be true that I lasted the longest, but are these things really enough to prove that I'm the one Yuki needs? 

Usually, these feelings would subside once Yuki and I make up. He'd hold me in ways that would make me forget everything else, inside and outside. All I'll think about is how gentle Yuki is with me, and how I love him so much. But like I said, our current fight is going longer than the usual. And the feelings of insecurity are bothering me far more than it usually is supposed to. 

I was talking to Hiro a few nights ago. He was comforting me in Yuki's behalf, or so he said. He made a joke about me lasting long enough against Yuki's temper because my persistence is stronger than Yuki's wrath. That was when I realized that maybe the real reason why I still have Yuki is because he can't let me go, because I won't allow him to. Yuki's relationships never lasted because his past lovers all got fed up with him. In the end, Yuki forgot all of them and he went on. That was why he's with me now, isn't it? But it's different with me. There were so many times when everything should've ended, but I've always been too stubborn. 

I don't blame Yuki for anything really, the reason why he does things has been cleared to me long before. If there's anybody to blame, I suppose that that has to be me. After all, I never gave Yuki much time, because each moment that he tries to be alone to think, I'll cut off and claim him back. He never made it look like he minded, and it's possible that he really never minded at all, but the whole point is that I'm too impatient to wait a while to let him settle down. 

Maybe Yuki really does hate me for depending on him too much, and making him depend on somebody again when he was just doing well on his own. Maybe he wants to bring back the time when he felt that he was strong. Maybe I'm making him feel weak. I keep remembering that single time when Yuki cried. He looked so scared and lost that I almost panicked. 

Is that the way emotions are for you, Yuki? 

I can hear his typing from here, still an endless tapping on the keyboard that the speed of it almost creates a symphony. I feel that writing brings him comfort in a way I can never do. Yuki shows more of his feelings to his laptop than he does to me. I know it's weird to feel jealous of a computer, but I've always been strange anyway. 

My eyes finally moved, shifting my gaze from the shiny floors of Yuki's home to a certain bag and sack that lay side by side on one corner of the room. I've packed them both a little while ago, and I was only lying face down on Yuki's couch to ease the pain on my shoulder. Or maybe, I also expected something inside me to stop me from moving any further. But I listen to Yuki's typing now, and I can vaguely see the blankness in his eyes as he stares past the words that he created and into a realm where I can never chase after him. 

I sit up, hearing the couch shift beneath me, before standing up to pace through the wooden floors towards my things. I take them in my hands, carrying them silently towards the door. I don't want to disturb Yuki. If he finds out about what I'm doing and asks me for a reason why, I might change my mind and just simply fall into his arms again. I can't let that happen, I've been selfish for far too long. 

I slip quietly out of the door, my things behind me. I allow myself a final peek around Yuki's home, the place that I've considered as home as well for more than two years. Yuki's still typing away in his room. 

It's during these times that I feel that Yuki doesn't need me. 

It's during these times that I feel that he never did.

**End of Chapter 1**

Shuichi always struck me as the insecure type. This is my first attempt in writing a Gravitation fanfic. Please review so I can see if I'm doing things right ^.^


	2. K

Thank you so much to those who reviewed, I didn't expect to get much *hugs everyone*. Your words are all wonderful! I promise to try my best. As for the questions, I can't answer them without giving spoilers, so I'm afraid you'll just have to read on ^-^' Usual disclaimers to Maki Murakami, she's the goddess who made the miracle that is Gravitation. 

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 2 - K)**

NG's main lobby is idle, quiet, with just the right amount of coolness from the air-conditioners to bring out a very comforting atmosphere. People around here look forward to their work, not only because they get to listen to a lot of famous bands do their recording - that's just an added bonus - but mostly because of the good working conditions. Either that, or the saying that Japanese people are hard workers is true. 

I pick up the mug of steaming coffee from the table, taking in the warm, bittersweet smell before placing the rim to my lips to take a sip. I can almost hear myself sigh. The peacefulness in NG, hot coffee to wake up the remaining sleeping parts of my body, with my gun safely tucked - though not hidden - under my right arm. I could only wish this is going to last. 

"MR. K-----!!!" 

Yes, well, I did say _wish_, didn't I? 

I placed my mug back from where it initially sat to regard Mr. Sakano. It was a good thing NG had automatic doors. Mr. Sakano has this habit of creating a live tornado around him only to be stopped by crashing through something hard, a wall preferably. But I doubt thin glass, like that in most building entrances, could support him. Tohma really knows how things work around this world. 

"MR. K MR. K MR. K!!!"

"Good morning, Sakano-san," I greeted him, giving him a cheerful smile. The day's nice, and I'm taking it for granted for as long as I can. 

"MR. K!"

"Sit down and catch your breath," I told him, gesturing to the seat across from mine. 

This did some good, for Mr. Sakano nodded his head and took a deep breath before sitting down. His expression was still that of deep anxiety, his eyebrows making a disturbing slope down on either sides of his face. He was in the brink of tears, I can tell, but I'm fairly used to it. I decided long before that Mr. Sakano's outbursts can be handled with a calm demeanor. 

"Now," I started, holding my cup again to take one more sip. "What's wrong now?"

Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Not yet anyway, but we don't have much time right now. Bad Luck's deadline is pretty close and we have to finish working on their new album before the week ends, but we still have a long way to go. But still, I think I'm beginning to regret asking so quickly. I've been responsible for a couple of deaths, but none of them involved encouraging a man to pull his hair and choke himself to death, as Mr. Sakano is doing as of the moment. 

Mr. Sakano is still sitting down, but I don't think it's doing him much good anymore. "Nakano just called me a while ago and told me that Shindou-kun came to him very early in the morning and asked him if he could stay there for a while and I asked if Shindou's all right but Nakano said he looks really put down and he isn't talking much what if he and Yuki-san broke up and Shindou's back to being depressed again and our deadline's next week and we're not even halfway done and Shindou won't finish his lyrics and he'd mope around Fujisaki would get pissed of and my life sucks my life sucks my life sucks what would the president say Shindou-kun I'm so useless I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!!"

My hand quickly shot out to grab Mr. Sakano's back collar before he could run to the elevators to jump off the building. I'm also putting my gun away from him lest he'd get any idea. 

"Calm down," I told him, shaking him a bit to wake him up from his panic attack. I sometimes wonder how long he's going to last in this lifetime. He seems pretty eligible for an early heart attack, Lord forbid. Mr. Sakano is a good, hardworking producer, but his emotional stability leaves a lot to be desired. "We'll wait for the group and see if they're all right. Besides, we've been through this before, everything's going to be just fine."

I handed Mr. Sakano my handkerchief, he needs it more than I do. My words seem to help. He's finally quiet now, sobbing every once in a while. I noticed that there are some people staring at us. Only a few, the old workers here in NG know Mr. Sakano pretty well enough to know about his regular outbursts. But as for the new workers, I grabbed for my gun and gave them a manic grin, which solved the problem as far as stares are concerned. 

The opening and closing shift of the automatic doors can be heard from the silence, and I quickly recognized the voice that greeted us. 

"Good morning!" It was Hiro Nakano. Behind him was Suguru Fujisaki, who was giving more of his attention to a certain pink-haired young man beside him instead of greeting us as well. Not that I could blame him. 

"'Morning," mumbled Shuichi. He has a small, not really forced but a long way from his usual genki enthusiasm for work kind of smile. His shoulders were slumped and looked really tired, and the faint darkness below his eyes were a clear sign that he hasn't slept at all. He held a couple of papers in his hand, and this he gave to Mr. Sakano. "The lyrics for today's song. I already showed it to Fujisaki."

Mr. Sakano blinked up at Shuichi, as if expecting him to break down and cry or something. But nothing of the sort happened, which I think is the reason why Mr. Sakano's so surprised. So instead, I took the offered sheets and looked over it myself. The words written are of the same style as Shuichi's other love songs, and no significant change altered grammar or vocabulary. 

"We'll be going up to the recording room so we can work on the music," said Hiro suddenly. "We have a copy of those lyrics, so you can keep them and look over them amongst yourselves. Ja!" 

The three of them disappeared behind the elevators, leaving me and a gaping Mr. Sakano behind. A few minutes passed and I heard a quick sigh of relief from the man who was now sitting beside me. 

"That went strangely well," he said, wiping his tear-stained eyes and eyeglasses with my handkerchief. 

"Yes," I mumbled, looking down at the lyrics again. "Strangely." 

I read over the lyrics Shuichi wrote again, convinced that Hiro and Suguru probably edited it already so I need not worry about those things. This time, I focused on the words and the message of the song. I don't know if I have told anyone, but I've always admired Shuichi's songs. He has a certain kind of innocence in him, an optimistic outlook that almost became the trademark of Bad Luck's songs. 

But there was a certain turn in today's words, and I can't help but stop to read and reread the ending coda of the song. 

_So long have I thought that we'll last forever, that what we have is enough.  
But though in love, I'm still human, I can still make mistakes. _

**End of Chapter 2**

Shuichi's lyrics are by me, so suck as they might, they finish the chapter well enough ^^; Please review, I'd really appreciate it! 


	3. Mika Seguchi

Again, Gravitation is made by Maki Murakami. I own nothing but this story's plot. This chapter has Tohma x Mika in it. For a yaoi anime, this is my favorite couple in Gravitation ^^; There isn't much Yuki x Shuichi just to share, but the plot's going the right way.

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 3 - Mika Seguchi)**

This morning went as all the mornings I can remember had. Tohma woke up earlier than I did, took a bath and had breakfast while I remain lying on the bed. He checked his things to see if he left anything out, and walked around the house picking up things he needed. Upon seeing that he's all set, he picked up his suitcase and passed by the bedroom again, bidding me an, "I'll be going now, see you later." I know all these things because I only pretended to be asleep, and each morning I watch him go by up until he leaves through the front door. 

I often wonder about our relationship. Tohma and I aren't like most couples. We're not the touchy-feely kind, as some might call it, we barely even hug. We both have our own separate lives, and I admit that I don't know what's going on around NG. I never asked him, just as he never asked about what I do around all day. 

Even my younger brother, Tatsuha, noticed it. Very few people may notice, but Tatsuha's really perceptive, and he sees things not everyone seem to see. Once while I was driving him back home, he turned to me and asked me how I was doing with Tohma. I didn't expect that question, and not knowing exactly what to say, I decided on a simple, "Fine" instead. He frowned at me, but said nothing else. But it certainly had me thinking a lot lately, more than I usually do. 

Tohma and I are pretty formal around each other. He still calls me "Mika-san", which is rather strange for a husband to call his wife, even if it is out of habit. But I never asked him about it, and I never acknowledged him as my better half to others unless I found the need to. 

It's not that we're both hiding each other from our own acquaintances. Tohma's not that kind of person, and I'm certainly not like that either. And after all, why would anyone pass up an opportunity to tell the world that their husband is a part of Nittle Grasper, Japan's top band for years in a row? But maybe it's because I, we, really don't feel that way. What we have is a lifetime companion who'd stay with us under the same roof, but everything else ends there. 

I reflected upon this last thought as I parked my car in front of Eiri's apartment. This is yet another routine I keep on doing; visiting Eiri even if I know he hates being pampered. But it's not only about him. I think it's my instinct as the eldest sister to keep watch over my younger siblings, it gives me a source of comfort knowing that I'm doing my part for them. 

But there are times when I think that I'm doing this partially for Tohma. Tohma harbors a deep fondness for Eiri. Even when we were younger, I remember that my husband was actually closer to my brother than he was to me. We weren't really the closest of friends. Much as I would want to deny it, I had a feeling that Tohma only noticed me because I was Eiri's sister. Both of us wanted to act out the position of a guardian, and we both wanted to take care of Eiri. As far as common traits are concerned, that's all we really have. 

Jealousy is not my main trait. Eldest children aren't especially prone to it. And it's also not that Tohma is a bad husband, he's really very thoughtful. I had been a young girl in her early twenties before, but I wasn't one who'd easily fall in love. I was far too caught up in my work and in my family to think about other things. Only Tohma seemed to understand this, and maybe that's one of the main reasons why I married him. While he watched over Eiri, he'd come to me and give me the respect I deserve, as I give him his. But even after we married, we couldn't get rid of the formality that went around us both. 

I stepped up to Eiri's door, but nobody opened it even if I rang the doorbell thrice. Pushing my thoughts aside for now, I let out a frown and directed it to the door. It never changed. Eiri's always this way. 

The door is unlocked, so instead of waiting for Eiri to welcome me himself, I allowed myself in like I always do. His apartment is always quiet, but strange as it may sound, it was more quiet than usual. Almost deafening. 

"Eiri?" There was a small slit of light coming from the study just across the living room. Narrowing my eyes, I walked towards it. Sure enough, he was there, sitting in front of his laptop, but he didn't seem to be doing anything. His back was to me, but I clearly saw that all he's doing is staring up at the blank screen. 

I walked up to him, standing over his shoulder to let him know I was there. I looked at the screen for a while, taking note of the cursor left idle if not for it's blinking, before I turned to him. "Where's the rest of your work? Haven't you been writing it this past week?" I asked him. 

With a tired sweep of his hand, he reached out for the box of cigarettes that laid a few inches from his laptop, lighting up a stick before answering me. "I threw it away. It makes no sense to me now." 

I blinked up at him, obviously taken aback. "What? But you have to finish it by the end of the month!" I always knew that scolding Eiri is useless, but it's been a habit I can't get rid of. 

As I had expected, Eiri completely ignored my last remark. Instead, he inhaled more from his cigarette, letting it out in a careless puff before putting the stick back in his mouth. 

I sighed, yet again defeated. "Eiri, I just hope you're all right. You're not yourself lately," I said, watching him look at something obviously far more interesting than me. I decided to shift the topic to something I thought would lighten things. It was obvious that it had been my mistake. "How's Shuichi?" 

That seemed to strike a nerve. A sudden tension came over Eiri's shoulder, only to disappear like it's never been there at all. A frown creased his face, and he was now glaring at the ashtray he had beside him. "How the hell should I know?" he snapped irately, breathing in from his cigarette again. 

I stared at him. He's evidently in a bad mood. Usually he'd still frown, but he would tell me that Shuichi is fine. That's how he always responds when I ask him. "Have you two been fighting again?" I asked him, guessing that that must be the case. 

Again, I was right. If looks could kill, or at least harm something, that glass ashtray should've shattered by now. 

I sighed again, not knowing whether or not I should feel sorry for him. From my knowledge, Eiri and Shuichi's fights mostly are caused by Eiri himself. I admire Shuichi's patience. All of my brother's past lovers never lasted longer than a week. They all found his faults and hated him for it. But despite the warnings everyone around him gave him, Shuichi still went on dedicating himself to my brother. I wonder if Eiri could see that. 

"He left." 

This certainly brought me out from my thoughts. I stared up at Eiri, not exactly sure of what to make out of what I just heard. 

He seemed to notice this. He leaned down to stab his cigarette stick on the ashtray, breathing out the last of the dirty white smoke before turning his gaze back to me again. "He left, early in the morning most probably. I checked and all his things were gone," he said, without even a hint of emotion in his voice. The coldness almost made me shudder. 

"Did he...say anything? Did he leave a note?" I asked, standing up. I couldn't bear to sit still anymore after that. 

There was a wince in his expressions that I just knew he was trying to fight back. There was a sudden knot in my stomach as I watched him sit there, probably contemplating on what to say to me. Despite a lot of things that has happened, Eiri held Shuichi dear to him, perhaps just as much as Shuichi does him, only a little more discreet. I thought Shuichi knew that. 

"No," he finally replied, his glare still fixed.

"Why, though? Why did he leave?"

"How the hell should I know!?" Suddenly, I found myself the object of that glare's attention. "All I know is that he's a complete moron for doing whatever it is that he's doing." A pause. "Not that I expect anything sensible from him. That - _idiot_." 

I pretended to ignore that fighting choke in his last words, and proceeded to just watch helplessly as Eiri grabbed the cigarette pack again. I sighed, knowing that there isn't more I can do for him, and decided to leave him for now. 

"Tohma."

"Hai, Mika-san?" 

Even from behind my cellphone, I can feel Tohma's smile. He always does that. Smiling comes naturally to Tohma, it's a habit he seemed to have perfected. He said that it relieves him somehow. But most especially, I think he does it so that people around him wouldn't worry about him. He does so much, and will inevitably look tired if he let his guard down. But to him, _he_ is the one who does the protecting. He is far more comfortable that way. 

"It's...Eiri."

"Oh." There was a short pause before he spoke again. "I expected that."

"So you know about it then? About Shuichi?"

"I was only filled in by Sakuma-san. Well, Kumagouro anyway. I figured that if something's wrong with Shindou-san, it had to be connected with Eiri-san."

"What are you going to do about it, Tohma?" I asked, not trying to suppress my worry. I like it that way. If I'm worried or nervous, I let Tohma know. He's the only one who knows the extremity of my worries. To me, he's the only one who could take it well. 

"Nothing." 

I was mildly surprised by this. I expected Tohma to check up on Eiri, because that's what he'd usually do. It's his nature to worry about him. But just when I was about to say something, he cut me off. "I don't think Eiri-san needs me to mob him right now. Besides, there isn't anything I can do." 

"Tohma..." I suppose that years of getting used to Eiri and Shuichi's relationship has finally got to him. I couldn't help but wonder what he's thinking about. Did it bother him? 

"Mika-san?" 

Again, I woke up from my reverie. "What is it?" 

If something was bothering him, I couldn't tell. Something about the tone of his voice made me think that he's still smiling. "There's this recently opened Italian restaurant near NG, and I was told that they served really good food in there. Would you like to try?" 

Tohma and I rarely go out, which is most probably why I was surprised. At first, I thought of asking him why, but then I knew that I can't let that out without sounding cold or ungrateful. And I did want to go, I just wasn't used to the idea that Tohma's asking me out after what felt like ten years of uncomfortable formalities. 

But that was when I realized that I should read more into what Tohma's asking. We never really got to the point where we decided to make things work for us. We both had busy schedules, which I admit, are hard to cope with. But if there was anybody who can cope with a busy schedule, it was Tohma. And perhaps I've been to cynical about us. Maybe this could work. 

_Would you like to try?_

"Mika-san?" 

"What about Eiri?" 

"Eiri-san has been through this before. He and Shindou-san always worked things out. I hate to say it, but they can go on without us. It's better off that way." 

I smiled. All his life, Tohma has always taken care of Eiri. I've noticed that he gave much attention in watching Shuichi to see if leaving Eiri to him would be all right. By the way things were going, I suppose Shuichi passed his test. 

"You're right," I said. "I'd love to go." 

It's my turn to do my part. All those times that Tohma went around holding on to Eiri, I've always waited so I would catch him once he finally let him go. 

**End of Chapter 3**

Three times. I rewrote this chapter _three_ times! *bursts her stress out and places an ice pack on her head* 

I know this may come as a bit of a disappointment compared to my last chapters. *frowns* I know this isn't as good as the last two, and I'm terribly sorry for that. That's why I took so long in updating. I rewrote this over and over again because I couldn't get it right. I just didn't want to focus solely on Yuki and Shuichi. All the other character have their own lives, and I'm paying as much attention to them as I am with the main couple. But I feel so terrible for not doing this right, I promise to do better in the next chapters. 

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Your reviews mean so much to me. Please do review as I go along so I'd know what you'd expect ^-^ 


	4. Hiroshi Nakano

Gravitation is not mine. If you're looking for anyone to bow down to, Maki Murakami is there. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapters! You all make Che-chan so happy, na noda! o*^-^*o 

This chapter kind of took a bit (a BIT!?) longer than usual. Partial blame goes to **tdei-san** =P You DID tell me to update my Hisoka x Illumi, ne? ^___^ Tada! Although writing THAT long a chapter in a span of a day kind of had my brain tired (ie, writer's block). Thus, the late update. *major sweatdrops* I'm so sorry! *bows*

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 4 - Hiroshi Nakano)**

Being somebody's best friend has its own advantages. You get benefits and certain connections that would be difficult to attain if you're alone. Also, you get to know various things and secrets that you wouldn't pick up lying on public streets, and you can laugh all you want about them without worrying about anything. You would know about things that would make this person happy, and would get to share their greatest moments. 

But likewise, being somebody's best friend also has its own disadvantages. You get twice the number of problems, twice the number of rivals, twice almost everything because being a true friend means that you have to share. Of course, the initial purpose of sharing is far from being negative. And besides, being a true friend means that you have to be willing to share even the nastiest things between each other, because somehow, even if you have nothing to do with something, you'll be somehow connected with it when you're best friend is. 

And that is exactly what I'm going through right now as I sit quietly in one of the tables with Shuichi in NG's main lobby. And do take note of what was wrong in that last statement. "Quiet" was used in the same sentence with Shuichi's name. Unless he had lost his voice and a bit of his usually hyperactive limbs, I would've thought that that notion was impossible. 

"Oi, Shuichi," I called in the midst of watching him fiddle with the straw in his drink. He's been like this ever since he appeared at my doorstep two days ago. He has a lot in his mind, I can tell, but apparently he still isn't quite ready to talk yet. I tried to ask, and though the problem obviously is connected with Yuki, Shuichi said that the blonde had done nothing, and that it was he who initiated the decision of leaving. He didn't explain any more. 

He will speak eventually though. And whenever that times comes, I'm always the one sitting across from him to listen.

"Na, Hiro," he called, not looking as if he noticed that it was I who called him first. Something about that bendable straw seemed to fascinate him, for he's been playing with it ever since we sat down. "Anou...how are you and Ayaka-chan?"

His question didn't really make sense, but I chose to answer him. It's pretty hard denying Shuichi what he asks when he's like this. Actually, it's hard denying Shuichi anything - _period_ - but still, the occasion still screams of a special mention. "We're fine I guess," I replied hesitantly, still wondering what the question's for. "I just talked to her last night," I added, grinning a bit, not exactly sure if I had the right to do so when my best friend's sitting across from me looking as if he's having the worst day in his life. Of course, Shuichi tries to make everyone believe that he was okay, but I pick up things from him even if I try not to. 

There was a small smile that graced him, and I decided that it was casual conversation he's after. "You always say that you two go on for hours. What exactly do you two talk about?" he asked, and I stared at the widening smile that didn't exactly reach his eyes. But knowing Shuichi, this was his way of cheering himself up. And if it was what he needed, I'll let him go on with this illusion of cheerfulness. 

"Nothing. Everything. I really can't point them out now that I think about it. They're all pretty random things, like how she saw a black and orange cat near the temple and how it reminded her of some poor jack-o-lantern that she carved when she was 13. We pretty much talked about pumpkins and Halloween for a good half hour."

We went on like that, Shuichi laughing somehow when I came to the part where Ayaka and I talked about mine and Shuichi's past Halloween stories. It really did seem to help, and I hoped against all hopes that this would comfort him in a way, or at least let him forget about the things he's currently thinking of. But I suppose that I have spoken too soon. 

"I don't laugh with Yuki much." There was a silence between us all of a sudden, as if we weren't just laughing a few seconds ago. I looked at Shuichi, who now had his head rested on his folded arms on the table and now playing with a table napkin. "But I still have a pretty good number of happy memories with him."

He had laid himself open, so I figured that this was my opportunity to ask. I really did want to help Shuichi, and I feel like he really needed someone to talk to. Shuichi breaks so easily, and though I know that he's now stronger than he had been years ago, he still walks around and stumbles. It's hard to watch him do it all alone. 

"Hey." I nudged his arm lightly to catch his attention. "Why _did_ you decide leave him?" 

Shuichi quickly sat up and shook his head. "I didn't leave him!" he exclaimed defensively, only to look down at his hands again as they continued playing with the napkin. "I just...wanted to know if I'm doing the right thing for him. I've been thinking a lot, and...I just wanted to see if Yuki would..."

Right then his words were cut off as K-san's voice rose to our ears. "Perk up! BIG NEWS!"

Shuichi and I turned our heads towards K-san's usual attention call. Behind him was Sakano-san. I looked around to see if Fujisaki's around yet, and caught a glimpse of him going through the main entrance and looking around. I raised a hand to catch his attention. 

"This year, Bad Luck is invited to one of Japan's music world's biggest social events," said K after Fujisaki reached us. "Awards night will be in two weeks, and after that, there would be a small reunion party at Hotel Catalonia. It is highly advisable to take somebody with you, for formality's sake mostly."

I quickly stole a glance of Shuichi, quickly wondering about what he's going to do. Shuichi would usually take Yuki, or Tatsuha, when the other is convinced that social events are invented just to make his life miserable. Of course, Yuki's brother is always happy to take the writer's place. To him, Shuichi's parties always included a certain Nittle Grasper singer, and that's _always_ good news. 

Of course, it's different now. And this is fairly obvious, for not a minute after K's announcement did Shuichi's shoulders fall resignedly on each side of him. Nobody really took much notice. Either that, or they chose to ignore it. K-san told us to not fuss over Shuichi too much. He was obviously doing his best to remain passive, and yes, compared to the last times he would be upset over Yuki, he is doing pretty well in his singing right now. I think it's K-san's way of saying that Shuichi is strong enough, and that if he isn't looking for help, we really shouldn't push him. Shuichi doesn't want us to worry about him, so perhaps we shouldn't do so much. 

But what the hell. I'm the guy's best friend. What choice do I have? 

I watched, like I always have. I watched as we all went towards the recording room, watched as Shuichi went on through the day without as much as his usual enthusiastic chatter. Then again, all the words that ever came out of his mouth were Yuki, Yuki, and Yuki. Of course, there were stories about Sakuma Ryuichi from time to time, and others as well when Shuichi remembers that the universe does not revolve around Yuki. 

I've been jealous of Yuki, I just try not to be noticed. I love Shuichi, and he's one of the most important people to ever grace my life. No, I'm not in love with Shuichi like I am with Ayaka, that's completely different. Love comes in different shapes, and you can love your friend as much as you love your girlfriend, and still both feelings vary from the other. But in a way they are still the same things. Love. And you'll fight your way even up until Hell just to make sure that they are satisfied and happy. 

I've been supportive from the very start. After all, it's possible that it had been my suggestion that triggered Shuichi's interest in looking for someone to be with. I was surprised to find out that my best friend, whom I remembered to have dated his own share of females back in high school, took a sudden interest in a guy. But it hadn't been a huge issue, for I soon realized just how much impact Yuki Eiri had on Shuichi. 

I've lived a big part of my life with Shuichi by my side. To see myself off the pedestal labeled, "Shuichi's Most Valuable Treasure" to be replaced by somebody else hadn't been easy, but I knew it was for the best. Yuki made Shuichi happy, and though he was also responsible for a lot of my friend's miserable times, never in my memory have I seen Shuichi as happy and content as he had been when he was with Yuki. 

When I asked Shuichi about his sudden decision of living with the writer a few years back, Shuichi just told me that the night before he moved in, he couldn't sleep because he had to see Yuki. He declared that he wanted to always be by Yuki's side for as long as he could manage. That was the very instant when I realized just how precious Shuichi was - when I felt that I've lost him. Don't get me wrong, Shuichi still regarded me as his very best friend who would shove a telephone pole down the devil's throat just to make sure he's safe. But presented with a situation where Yuki and I are to die at the exact same moment, I'm not anymore sure if Shuichi would run to my body first. 

The day passed without much happening, and I soon found myself bidding Fujisaki a warm goodbye when we reached the part of the street that would lead him home. We pretty much follow the same route from our houses to NG so sometimes, when I feel like walking, I walk with him. Today, I'm living with Shuichi, so he as well waved Fujisaki goodbye. 

Our way home was quiet. His eyes were mostly glued to the ground, and his mouth never opened unless necessary. I kept my silence as well, content in just watching and waiting. We reached my house without even exchanging a single word. Shuichi didn't seem to notice this as he led the way towards the door. 

It was while we stood still as I fumbled for the keys that Shuichi spoke. "Na, Hiro," he started, his eyes staring at the doorknob but looking as if he wasn't seeing it. "Do you think you can get someone to go with me to that party K-san was talking about? Sakuma-san might take Tatsuha with him." 

For a moment, I simple stared, not exactly sure of what to make of things. But all that met me was Shuichi's blank expression. If anybody would pass us by, they would think that Shuichi had asked a very innocent and simple question, perhaps something like, "Hiro, should I get a haircut?" 

Shuichi was looking at me, and I quickly woke myself up to answer him. "Uh, I'll...try to ask Ayaka-chan if she can bring a friend with her." 

There was a fleeting expression that crossed him when I mentioned Ayaka. I almost felt like hitting myself. Sheer genius, Hiroshi Nakano, remind him of how much you and Ayaka are in love and make the most of his misery. 

But before I could cover up my slip and change the subject, Shuichi spoke again. "Thanks, Hiro." He then stepped inside, dumping his jacket on the couch before diving in himself in a heavy slump. 

Shuichi had girlfriends before, but he never dedicated himself to them as much as he had Yuki. So when I gave him up to the silent writer, it was because of the obvious difference around them that sets their relationship apart from the rest. Yuki's relatives, Mika, Tatsuha, have mentioned to us about how much Shuichi was different from the rest of Yuki's lovers. Yuki isn't the only one who met a different person in his life. Shuichi has his story, too. Over the years, Yuki had proven himself enough for Shuichi, and they _did_ last this long. 

It should not come to a surprise for me to say that I was shocked when Shuichi told me that he left Yuki's house. But he had looked determined to stay with me, or to stay away from Yuki. But even while he said that he'd better be away from Yuki for a while, and even back a while ago in NG when he tried to smile for everyone and to be as cheerful as he's supposed to be, I know that there was a certain disappointment in him that had somehow started to crawl inside me as well. 

Shuichi left Yuki. The expected reaction was for Yuki to go and bring Shuichi back. Even just to at least try. 

**End of Chapter 4**

Again, I'm very sorry for being so late. I just got a little mixed up with my other fanfics. But thank you for still reading this far! Special thanks to the following people: 

**Evil Tsubasa and Colleagues, Erithe, Megamie, Monki, Chibi_Kitty, PikaCheeka, Sayuki, Ksya-chan, Katsumi, TCW, **and** P.S. Speare **for the generous and wonderful reviews, I get more energized to write faster whenever I get encouraging of reviews; **yamatoforever** for liking the crappy lyrics I pasted in chapter 2 ^0^; **nanami** for the genki feedbacks. It's so nice to hear from you, Nanami-san!!! *glomps* (Oh, and Nanami-san..."-sama"?? o.O) To **tdei**, thank you for reviewing _Luminescence _too! I'm sorry if I might disappoint you with this fanfic though. Just to warn you, I'm a Yuki x Shuichi shipper, so don't expect Yuki dying or anything ^^; As for the transition...ehe, sorry about that XP; then to **Astralkitten**. I _never_ supported Tohma x Yuki, even if they say that Tohma seemed to have had a crush on Yuki in the manga. I only watched the anime and the OVAs, and Tohma seems to regard Yuki as a brother as far as I can see it. I'm a bit stubborn about it, plus the fact that I think Mika's not as appreciated as much as she's supposed to be. **fallen**, yes, I'll be writing in Yuki's POV, but don't expect it so soon =P; **Setsuri, **er, Shuichi end up with someone else? Lookie-lookie at this chappy! ^___^ I won't give over endings, and I'm giving neither a "yes" or a "no". Maybe we should all just wait =P **panatlantic**, aah see? Not even halfway through the story and we get a conflict. Some readers want Yuki and Shuichi living happily ever after, while some just want to kick Yuki's behind for being such an asshole (he IS, isn't he? ^^;). The ending is indefinite, and though I might not please everyone with it, I'll write what suits me best. I'M the writer! I'M the boss! Mwahahahaha!!! *insert mad cackle* 

Now, drifting back to sanity, I thank you again for reading. Reviews and feedbacks will be very much appreciated, so please do drop a comment. I work my ass here and all but offering myself up to mosquitoes, you can at least drop me an appreciative token ^__________^ 


	5. Tatsuha Uesugi

Maki Murakami is a goddess. I'm just a pathetic little girl who misses school and has nothing left to do but sit around wondering why it's still the month of March o.O 

Major Ryuichi worship ahead. I have come to the conclusion that - no matter how much I love Tatsuha and is all but willing to marry him - he and I can never go in the same room lest we risk turning the entirety of Eastern Asia into a temple dedicated to Ryuichi Sakuma. 'Nuff said ^.~

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 5 - Tatsuha Uesugi)**

Humans can be really stupid. 

I hate to generalize, but really. Of course, there can be exceptions to this statement. Ryuichi Sakuma is definitely _not_ stupid. But he doesn't count, because he isn't human, not really. Humans have faults. He does not. Ryuichi Sakuma is a _god_, and anyone who says otherwise is stupid, thus, does not prove to be a very reliable judge. 

But let's go to the realm of the humans. My sister, Mika, is also far from being stupid. I think eldest children tend to be quite instinctive and wise. It comes with the fact that one has to endure so much stress, I think. After all, with dad being the nerve-wrecked prude that he is, and my overly sarcastic to-hell-with-the-world brother, it's actually a surprise that we're all still in touch. Mika has done a lot. No, wait a second, maybe Mika isn't human either. But she should be. She's my sister, is she not? And after all, no man is lucky enough to encounter two gods in a lifetime. 

Anyway, with majority of eldest children and Ryuichi Sakuma aside, I go back to my initial statement. 

Humans can be really stupid. 

This is a revelation that came to me the very day I stepped inside Eiri's apartment. I came to Tokyo for a short vacation, plus, I've been invited by Ryuichi - the keeper of heart and soul, my angel, my god, my love, my destiny, my...ahem, where was I? - to come with him to the "little get-together" party after the annual awards night. Of course, since we're talking about the most famous personalities in the whole of Japan here, I don't know how "little" it could get. 

Usually, I go with Shuichi, because my brother's just a bastard that way. But ever since Ryuichi and I had the chance to get to know each other better (and no, I may seem a bit perverted sometimes, but dare not underestimate the values of a boy who grew up in a temple), I've been with him more than I have been with Shuichi. Unfortunately, what I have with Ryuichi is far from what I've wanted. He considers me as a friend, and the furthest that I can go is to be a _good_ friend. But that's fine with me. I don't know if he's really just perceptive or I'm overly obvious, but he somehow found out about my schoolboy obsession with him that somehow doesn't look like it's going to wane. But he took it rather well. I suppose he was used to it, being as famous as he is. But what really moved me was when he explained to me the difference between love and obsession. I fell in love with Ryuichi Sakuma the moment I saw him sing, but though it takes less than a second to have a revelation, it takes more than that to actually fall in love. He said that to me. 

There is so much to understand about him, actually. He is a completely different person on-stage as he is when he isn't. I never really met him properly despite our connection. I mean, my sister is the wife of his band mate, isn't she? But it isn't quite easy. Before Ryuichi went to America, I had been really young, so I'm more of a delusional fan then than I am now. And most of the time, I'm in Kyoto while Mika and Eiri are way over here in Tokyo. Besides, it isn't easy to meet a celebrity just like that. And being exactly that, Ryuichi finds it difficult to trust most people, because he doesn't know what they want from him. He told me so a long time ago, during those rare, serious moments we have together. Perhaps that was also the reason why he had Kumagoro, but I didn't go as far as ask about the innocent bunny. Painful as it may sound, I suppose that perhaps the reason why he trusted me at all was because I was connected to Tohma and Shuichi. Thus, even if I would hurt him, I won't get away too easily. 

Okay, so many would say that through this, I should as well say that Ryuichi is as human as he can get. But I beg to differ. This was the moment that convinced me that Ryuichi Sakuma is a god. It's rare to find somebody with so much mystery, and it's two times as rare to find somebody bathed in attention and still be able to keep their feet down on the ground. Ryuichi's fame never got to his head, and only a god would be that kind. He was afraid of Shuichi once, but later on, he said that he realized it isn't very much the fame that made him want to sing. Shuichi is a dear friend to him, so he wouldn't mind it if ever he _does_ go past him. Singing for people is a passion for Ryuichi, and it isn't like he's grabbing random girls around so they'd be his fans. Behind the child in him lies the wisdom of his age, and even beyond. 

Right. Now, back from the Ryuichi fan-philosopher hybrid to being the casual teenager. That's another miracle that convinced me of Ryuichi's divinity. He can change any given person presented to him. Supposedly, instead of this devoted slave to the very ground Ryuichi walks on, I should be a typical 18 year old guy on the prowl for sex. Not all guys are like this, of course, but I _am_ related to Eiri Yuki, remember? It goes with the blood, no matter how my father would go against that. Bless his overly chastised soul. 

Now, back to Eiri. The very second I opened his door and announced my arrival, I knew that something was wrong. Over the years, my arrival at Eiri's place is like a ritual. It isn't very solemn, but I consider it a ritual nonetheless. Supposedly, I'd ring the doorbell and yell out who I was. Not even a few seconds after that would the loud footsteps come around, with a distant yell that was so much of Eiri that says, "Stop being so noisy!". But that command would be promptly ignored, and the door would open and even before I could take a step, an impact that would be comparable to that of a fired cannon ball would hit me right across the chest. I would lose all rational thought, only to be woken up by the familiar cry of, "Tatsuha-san!" from a very hyperactive Shuichi. 

Shuichi and I have been really close despite the fact that I'm not usually in Tokyo. But I guess that having to live with him and Eiri every time I do have to stay is almost considered like a fun sleep-over, no matter how frustrating it may be to those two to not have privacy. But excuse me, I'm not sadistic enough as to torture them too much. During the days I'd try to keep off the house as much as possible to give them their privacy. 

But this time, when I rang the doorbell and no one answered, I was afraid that I just missed Shuichi and he was off to work. It only worsened when I stepped up to Eiri only to have him snap at me. Very welcoming, but I'm used to it. But "snap" would then be an understatement to describe Eiri's reaction when I finally asked about Shuichi. But knowing the story now, I guess that I couldn't really blame him for yelling and throwing me out of his apartment. 

So here I am now. Three days have passed since I came here, and I waited patiently for my hopeless-case-for-a-brother to get off his stupid laptop to ask around about Shuichi. I'm lounging around his study and staring at the dull wall right across from where I sat as I listened uninterested at the sounds of his typing. 

That was when I decided that I miss Shuichi. To hell with initiative and all those crappy things a romantic lover would do. Eiri needed to be kicked to get a move from him. 

"Ne, aniki." 

The sounds of typing didn't stop, but I thought I heard something muttered from where Eiri sat, so I took that as a sign of him listening. 

"How come you're not looking for Shuichi?" 

The typing stopped this time. I've discovered that the name "Shuichi" has a very interesting effect on Eiri's house lately. It's been the cause of 90% percent of breaking coffee mugs and dropping paper files and all other typical household accidents. The remaining 10% are caused by my clumsy tendencies, but enough of that. The point is, Shuichi can still distract my pathetic brother despite his absence, so I am quite sure that the case is not as hopeless as it looks. 

"It's none of your business," was my prompt answer. Typical Eiri. Of course, I'm far from giving up. 

"Actually, you can somehow say that it is. I mean, I'm your brother, and I'm Shuichi's friend, plus I'm close to Ryuichi who is also Shuichi's friend and--" 

"I get the idea," muttered Eiri, cutting me off. 

"Bottom line, I miss Shuichi and I'm just wondering why you two haven't made up yet." 

Eiri gave me a moment's glare, but only for a few seconds. He immediately went back to his work and looked like he decided to ignore me. 

But I'm taking none of it. And determined to get an answer from him, I stood up from my place and walked towards him. I reached his table, but before I spoke, I made a grab for the box of cigarettes beside the laptop and threw it over my shoulder. There were two reasons why I did that. One is because Eiri has this habit of smoking himself to oblivion, especially when he has to talk. He uses it to keep himself busy so he would have an excuse to ignore the person he's talking to. And as for the second reason, well, it's incoming, hehe... 

"Hey! You idiot, what the hell did you do that for!" You see, Eiri has a deep attachment to his vices. And whomsoever harms them shall meet an untimely death. Of course, I'm family, so I'm an exception. So I get...tada! A patented Eiri Yuki glare. 

"Do you know where Shuichi is staying?" I asked, ignoring his glare. 

"No," he snapped, going around me to pick up the abused box. 

"Did you even try to look?" 

"No." Eiri came back to his desk and was just about to pull out one stick when I quickly grabbed the box from his hands. Eiri hasn't been himself lately, so it was fairly easy for me to do that stunt. The box was quickly flung over my shoulder again. And again, I was the object of my brother's hatred. 

"Why not?" I asked, feeling slightly triumphant when he just sat down and started typing again, regardless of his cigarettes. 

"That's none of your business." 

"I think I already established--" 

"Go to hell." 

Conversation never really was in Eiri's vocabulary. Thankfully, I'm a very persistent person. "Do you still love him?" I asked again. 

For a moment, the typing stopped, and Eiri paused to stare at the screen for a while. For a second, his face was completely blank, but it was quickly wiped off and replaced by his usual glare. He was glaring at the screen, poor thing. He didn't say anything. 

"Okay, let me rephrase the question. Did you _ever_ love him at all?" I asked. 

No answer. 

Of course, I knew Eiri loved Shuichi. And I'd kill myself now if he says that he doesn't love him still. I mean, as if the fact that "Shuichi" just replaced "Abracadabra" as the most effective magic word to cause damage in my brother's house isn't proof enough. He still thinks about him. But Eiri has a huge case of denial, and this is why I think he'll be needing help. He _is_ my brother after all. Anyway, if he denies my help, I'd say I'm doing it for Shuichi then. 

Convinced that Eiri really deserves to be kicked, I decided to at least do what I can. Feigning a resigned sigh, I stood up and turned my back to him. "I knew it," I said, trying not to be overly dramatic lest I blow my act. "But I can't really blame you. Shuichi _is_ attractive, so I suppose it wasn't completely impossible." 

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, and I could feel his glare even behind my back. 

"Don't play innocent with me," I said, feigning a glare. It's working, I can tell. I should be an actor. "You're tired of him, so you could care less where he is right now. Perhaps he _was_ special, after all you did last this long, but some things just won't change. I can fully understand, you know. It's in your nature to tire easily." 

I know very well that that last blow was just as much of a blow to him as it is to Shuichi. I'm sorry, really, but hitting Shuichi would also be like hitting Eiri, so twice the impact on him. Thus, twice the effect. 

And again, I'm proven right, for before I step out of the door for an equally dramatic exit, I found myself blocked by a very furious pair of golden eyes. Eiri lunged at me and caught me by my front shirt. "Don't you _dare_ assume things about me, you little bastard," he hissed, and had I been someone else, I should've fainted by now. But I am Tatsuha Uesugi, and if I'm not used to my own brother's temper tantrums, no one is. 

My game is far from over. 

"Why so angry, aniki?" I asked innocently. "You're right. I guess that Shuichi just wasn't as fun as he used to be anymore. He's been very busy lately, hasn't he? But it's not your fault if you feel that way, it's fully understandable." 

"You don't know what you're talking about," he threatened me with those eyes, and I decided that he's had enough. One more nasty remark and I'm in for a blow. Oh, he's not far from it, I can tell. 

"Why are you being so defensive? I thought you don't love him anymore? Look, I'm on your side, okay? I can understand. Shuichi got boring so now you're letting him go." 

God, aniki could punch! My cheek and nose burned from the impact, and I quickly stepped back to nurse my aching face. The things I do for some people. Both Eiri and Shuichi should thank me for this someday. 

"You really are a child, Tatsuha. You know _nothing_." He was all but growling. "Say any more of that trash and I'm going to forget you're my brother." 

I may be in pain, but lookie what I just did! Can a child provoke you so, aniki? I tried to hide my smirk, but this proved to be useless. I smirked at Eiri anyway. 

"So, does that mean that you still love him then?" I asked. My hand was covering most of my mouth - damn that punch - but I knew my grin reached my eyes. 

Eiri was looking at me. I can't read his initial expression, but right after that came understanding, and right after that came disbelief, and the next thing I knew, he was glaring at me again. "Go to hell." He's really smart. He can perceive things really quickly. 

My grin widened despite my pain. "Is that a 'yes'?" 

He sat down and started typing again, but not before he threw back his last retort. "Fuck you." 

It wasn't a 'yes', but at least it wasn't a 'no' either. I hope that that was push enough for him, because any more of my meddling and I might win myself a free trip back to Kyoto through a long, rectangular box. I decided that Eiri had had enough for now. 

That, and I'm also having a friggin' nose bleed. I badly need an ice pack. I won, but I also ended up being the one with the swollen nose. Eiri is an ass, and I'm just too nice. Had I not been injured, I would've laughed my way to the freezer. 

**End of Chapter 5**

Yikes...much as I liked this chapter, I'm a bit afraid for Yuki here. Personally, I think he's in-character enough, but some people may not agree. Anyway, I still haven't made it clear _why_ Yuki won't run after Shuichi, I know, and my bad. But rest assured that Yuki's hurting far more than Shuichi is, even if I haven't elaborated on it much *sheepish grin*. Oh, I like to torture Yuki. He's a complete jerk, but like Hiro said, he makes Shuichi happy. Don't get me wrong, Yuki's one of the favorite characters...actually, I like them all. From Mika to Hiro to Sakano to Fujisaki (I'll marry Fujisaki someday ^0^). Yuki just needs a quick shove in the mud every once in a while, won't you agree? ^___________^

Thanks you's and free mini Kumagoro plushies (with complete consent from Ryuichi-sama himself) to the very kind reviewers! **Astralkitten**, special thank you for the bug spray. I don't like to kill poor little creatures, but let's just say it's a matter of survival now, ne? *regretfully starts murdering all visible mosquitoes* **Yoko-chan**, I'm glad you liked the story. I like narrating stories through the eyes of the characters themselves, it gives more emotion that way ^_^ And Yuki and Shuichi...well, I'm angry with Yuki right now, but don't worry, he won't die or anything, hehe! =P **Evil Tsubasa and Colleagues**...waaaaahhh!!! People are being so nice to me! Two plushies for the extra nice words! *hands another Kumagoro plushy* **Sayuki**, this chapter is on the Yuki side of the story. I know it isn't Yuki, I'm sorry, but I have plans for him ^^; But at least he spoke in here, ehehe! I can't believe I let him punch Tatsuha-sama ;_; Anyway...**yamatoforever**, nice insights, but I won't be saying anything =P Hiro _is_ a good friend though, isn't he? He's so selfless sometimes, I wonder if I can make him my role model? But Fujisaki is my role model already! . **koko**, thank you for the review! And thank you for liking my crappy lyrics ^_____^ I might write a crappy song along with this story, haha! **Eowyn **(love your name! LOTR? Eck, love you anyway! ^0^), thank you so much for liking the Mika chapter. I was afraid that I wasn't able to portray her and Tohma as well as I want to, so saying that it somehow stood out really means a lot. And like I said before, I like all characters, so I don't want them to lack the proper attention ^_^ And don't worry, I agree. OCs are eeeeevil! ^_____^

Juggling 4 fanfics at the same time is a complete torture! *bursts out crying* What kind of idiot am to think I can manage them all!?!?


	6. Ryuichi Sakuma

These lovable characters are owned by Maki Murakami, bow down and show respect *bows*. Yay, I'm writing Ryuichi! It's kind of hard because Ryuichi is, in my opinion, one of the most complex characters to ever grace the world of anime, and I don't know exactly how he thinks o.O 

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 6 - Ryuichi Sakuma)**

"Tada! What do you think?"

Tatsuha was wearing a really big grin as he welcomed me at the door. My eyes widened as I stared up at him. Not because of the grin - he usually does that when he's done something he's really proud of - but because of the blue-black mark that marred his pale skin. On his hand, he held something that looked like an ice pack, and gave me the idea that he was just about nursing it. 

"What happened?" I asked immediately, rushing inside the apartment to push Tatsuha down on the couch. Kumagoro fell from my head and onto Tatsuha's lap. Kumagoro never falls from me so I initially wondered if something was wrong with him and his grip, but I realized that he's also worried about Tatsuha. 

"Aaw, Kumagoro's worried about me, too!" exclaimed Tatsuha happily as he held Kumagoro up. 

"Did Tatsuha-kun get into a fight?" I asked, guiding his hand with the ice pack to the discoloration on his cheek. It looked like it awfully hurt. I hope it's all right. 

He adjusted the pack a bit, and eventually held it in place. He grinned. "You can say that," he answered. "But it's fine now, I got what I wanted," he declared, his grin widening. 

I frowned. "I didn't know Tatsuha gets into fights," I said sadly. In his hands, I could see Kumagoro feeling sad too. We share the same feelings, and we especially share our fondness for Tatsuha. Kumagoro only likes a few people, he told me so. But he really likes Tatsuha because he's one of the few people who really talk to him. Maybe that's why we're both disappointed with the idea of our new best friend getting into trouble for something. 

"No!" Tatsuha said quickly. "No, it's not what you think." He looked past my shoulder. When I looked, it was at the direction of a dark hallway where Yuki-san's office was - Tatsuha usually invites me over because he said he didn't want to leave his brother alone too much. Especially now when Yuki-san would be alone. He's really a good brother, he doesn't want to say it. 

Tatsuha lowered his voice so only I and Kumagoro could hear him. "Eiri did this to me," he said, pointing at his cheek. 

"But why!?" I asked, my head automatically looking back again to where Yuki-san was. 

"I...kind of taunted him," explained Tatsuha, letting out a sheepish grin. "But before you get angry," he said, seeing my frown again, "I did it for him. And Shuichi."

That certainly got me listening. I felt my ears instinctively perk up at the sound of Shuichi's name. Shuichi is one of my best friends - not to mention that Kumagoro likes him a lot - but he's been quiet and sad lately. I noticed because he doesn't talk as much as he used to before, and that's just awful because I always feel sad too whenever someone around me is sad. I even cried with Shuichi before, during that time when he dropped a whole pack of strawberry pocky down the NG roof. It was nighttime and we couldn't find it, and Shuichi cried because the pack was so expensive that he didn't have any more money left. Things got so frustrated because the candy store was already closed and I couldn't buy him any and we both cried because we wanted to eat more pocky. 

"I wanted to see if there's any hope of bringing Shuichi back," continued Tatsuha when I didn't say anything. "We all know that my brother has this problem about having to admit things to himself and other people. Shuichi is one of a kind, and I don't want Eiri to regret something he failed to do for them both. That's why I tried to trick him into saying things himself," said Tatsuha, his grin still in place. "Technically, he didn't say anything about Shuichi, but his reaction to my words was as good as he can get."

"Wow," I mumbled, staring at him. "You did that for Shuichi?" I asked. A few seconds more and I found Kumagoro and myself tearfully hugging Tatsuha, so happy to know that Shuichi has so much loving friends. "But still, Tatsuha was very stupid to get himself hurt!" I added, in between a smile and a frown. I was happy with what he has done, but I still can't stand knowing that he hurt himself doing something good. Tatsuha is too nice for anybody to hurt. 

It's not a secret to us both that he likes me. It's actually something I thought would keep me from being friends with him before. But unlike most of the people who shares the same opinion of me, Tatsuha didn't seem to take my reaction to him as a sort-of twisted rejection. He understood what I meant when I told him to really think things through. Most people would tell me to just flat out tell them that I'm not interested. 

I like people, and I also want them to like me. But being famous gives me an awful impression to some people, because I suppose I'm being stereotyped as the typical celebrity who looks down on others because I've got millions waiting behind my back. I hate it. People find it hard to befriend me because I make others really nervous by my name alone. I guess that that is one of the reasons why my words are always mistaken for something else. Like when I tell people that they don't know what they're saying when they tell me they love me, they think I'm pushing them away. 

But Tatsuha and I quickly became friends. I think Shuichi plays a really big part in this. He would always bring Tatsuha with him. Shuichi is one of the very few people who I think understands me. Maybe he's shared a lot of his own insights with him, too. I owe Shuichi a lot because when I met him, it seems as though I found friends everywhere I go. My life back here seems ever so different from my life in America. I became happier than I've ever been for so long.

"Oh, I just remembered!" I said, quickly letting Tatsuha go to fish something out of my jacket. I found it on the left inside pocket, a small piece of folded paper. I showed it to Tatsuha and he read:

10 Reasons Why Shuichi-kun Should Go Back To Yuki-san

1. Shuichi is very sad nowadays and he needs somebody to play with! (Yuki-san is always Shuichi's playmate, ne?)  
2. Whenever they fight, Shuichi always says that he misses Yuki-san, so I'm very sure that Shuichi misses him now, too!  
3. Tohma says that Yuki-san gets into mood swings, so fights are always his fault. He needs Shuichi to be there to cheer him up!  
4. Shuichi always make sad songs when he's not with Yuki-san.  
5. Shuichi makes happy songs when he's with Yuki-san!  
6. Shuichi won't play with Ryuichi and Kumagoro when he's sad.  
7. Tohma is sad because Yuki-san and Shuichi are sad.  
8. Everybody is sad!   
9. K's job gets hard when everyone around him is sad.  
10. 

"What's this?" asked Tatsuha as he finished reading it. "And how come there's only 9?" 

"I can't think of any more," I said sadly. "Anyway, it's a gift I'm going to give Shuichi!" I said and smiled again, taking the list from him. "Because I really think Shuichi should go back. I talked to him yesterday and he said that he couldn't because it's not yet time and there's something he's looking for. I don't know what he meant by that, and I didn't ask him to explain because I don't want to sadden him more. But I'm making a list so maybe I can help him find what he's looking for. I really don't want to see--" 

Before I could say that I don't want to see everyone like this, Tatsuha cut me off because he suddenly lunged and hugged me. At first, I was scared because nothing never really comes out good whenever people touch me this way unless it was I who started the hug. But I eventually knew that the hug didn't imply anything, and that it was actually a pleasant and friendly gesture. I hesitantly hugged back and spoke, "Anou, Tatsuha?" 

"I'm sorry," he said, still hugging me. "You just make me really happy sometimes." 

I blinked, tilting my head a bit, but the only thing I saw was Tatsuha's dark hair. But what did he mean by what he said? Sometimes, I feel as if Tatsuha's the older one between the two of us. I think he notices it too. But I like it this way. I haven't known him for long, but he already gained much of my trust. I feel as if I'm always safe around him, and that he'd never hurt me. Tohma always warns me to be careful of the people I befriend, but it just so easy to get along with Tatsuha. 

"Great," he said as he finally let me go. "I'll help as much as I can," he added, standing up. He straightened his clothes and looked at me. "But for now, I think we need something to eat. I'll go check to see what we have, you can go around if you want. Just don't disturb Eiri, he can get really moody." 

And so Tatsuha left. Kumagoro wanted to go with him. I told him that he'll just bother Tatsuha-san, but he won't listen. In the end, Tatsuha broke our fight and said that it's okay for Kumagoro to come because that means that he can ask him about what I would like to eat without having to bore me as he look around. Not that I'll get bored anyway, but Tatsuha can be really thoughtful sometimes. 

And so, I was left looking around, my list still in hand just in case I'd get an idea. I really tried to do what Tatsuha told me to, but I just couldn't stand there without looking back at the hallway where Yuki-san's office room was. If he was working, it doesn't sound like it. He's being too quiet. Unless he writes his novels by pen and paper, I'd bet he isn't doing anything in there at all. 

I looked towards the kitchen to see if Tatsuha was looking, and assured that he won't see me, I walked towards the hall. The door seemed to be slightly opened, and I could see Yuki-san's back as he sat there in front of his laptop. At the far corner, I could see a box of cigarettes lying on the floor. I have no idea how it got there, but I think it's a good thing that Yuki-san isn't smoking right now. I wonder if he himself threw it away? 

But I quickly looked away when Yuki-san moved. I moved behind the wall, peeking only a little way lest he sees me. Not that he looked like he's going to turn to me, though. He had pushed his chair back and was now laying his head on his folded arms. Beside him was what looked like a CD case, and I recognized it to be the newly released album of Bad Luck. I didn't know Yuki-san was one of Shuichi's fan, but then again, he should be. Shuichi is a great singer! The CD itself seems to be inside Yuki-san's laptop, and he's listening to it through a pair of small earphones. 

When I first listened to that CD, I asked Shuichi about the songs. Shuichi would always make great songs, and though this new set was just as good, I noticed that they contained sad, tragic lyrics. He didn't say anything about it and just shrugged his reply, saying that those things just came to him when inspiration struck. 

Watching Yuki-san now, I think I understand the meaning of the lyrics as I now play them all in my head. What especially stood out was the promotional song of the album itself, the one Shuichi just recently finished. I think it was one of the saddest song Shuichi ever did. And I think that that is the reason why that track seems to be the one playing over and over in Yuki-san's player. 

//  
_Listening to the echo of your voice in my memories  
The illusion that kept me going seems to fade away  
The sun rises from the horizon and I see the break of day  
Revelations come in this morning litany  
Never in your words did you say you love me  
Eye blank, little by little I feel you push me away  
I'm sorry to miss it, I must've gone blind  
But I can see clearly now_

_So long have I thought that we'll last forever, that what we have is enough  
But though in love, I'm still human, I can still make mistakes  
// _

That's was how the song ended, or so I remember. Yuki-san should stop listening, because I don't want to think that Shuichi meant what the lyrics implied. He couldn't. And Yuki-san shouldn't hurt himself so much. I know he's hurt, because even with his back to me, I can see how tired he was. He was shaking, though his movements were so small I could've missed them. 

I suddenly felt so heavy that I had to push myself away from the door. Somewhere around me I could hear Tatsuha talking to Kumagoro about whether he should open the can of fruits or just the peaches. I looked down at my list. I now know what to put for #10, but I won't write it down just yet. What Tatsuha has done for Yuki replayed back in my head, and with a sidelong look towards the kitchen, I made up my mind. 

I now convinced myself that Yuki and Shuichi are going through this things for nothing. Of course, I have nothing to do with what's going on between them, and I know nothing when it comes right down to it, but with the way I see it, they're just hurting each other with what they're doing. Shuichi said that he is looking for something, and I think he'll find it with Yuki. I just think that he doesn't know how to look. But even if they do get together, I doubt things will change if Yuki won't give Shuichi what he needs. 

Unless somebody does something crazy enough to draw attention. 

"Tatsuha." 

I reached the kitchen just in time for him to look towards me, and something about the way I called him seemed to make him stop. I could see him frown, but my thoughts were too deep that I couldn't even do as much as comfort him. What I was about to say, what I intend to do...there's something in me that pushes me to ask his permission. I have a feeling that I might hurt him if I don't. Tatsuha's feeling always have to come in check. 

"I think I have a plan." 

**End of Chapter 6**

I'm so sorry if this took long to come out. I seem to be neglecting my Hunter X Hunter fanfics lately because of this one, so I kind of swore that I won't write anything Gravitation related until I finish something for HxH ^^; Anyway, there you go! Since I took long, I'd give you all a teaser for the next chapter. --peace offering, please accept! 

Chapter 7 will be narrated by Fujisaki Suguru *all hail!*. Ryuichi will do something nobody would expect him to do, but would be enough to snap Yuki off his "pathetic reject" state. Plus, Yuki/Shindou break-up goes to the public! I have a feeling that I'm just about to mess up Fujisaki-sama's career o.O

Tatsuha plushies to the following people for the wonderful reviews! **Megamie-san** for appreciating Tatsuha's greatness, I thank you. And yes, he does deserve to spend more time with Ryuichi. I really want them to be together, but this fanfic isn't big enough for romantic developments of so many couples, unfortunately. Maybe next time, when I'm done with this one ^-^ **Evil Tsubasa and Colleagues**, thank you so much for reviewing every chapter. It seems that every time I check my reviews, you're always there ^-^ I'm feeling a bit sorry for Yuki now for some reason, and I do want him to be with Shuichi. I'm still thinking about the ending because I don't want it to become a sappy reunion of some sort. No, I think I like seeing Yuki getting hurt ^___^ **Tairamika**, I also like the Uesugi brothers, I think they're really cute when they're together. We don't know much about their relationship though, except that Tatsuha seems to be afraid of Yuki enough to _not_ play anything tricky around him =P As for fangirl eeking and eeping, *taps space beside her* here! Let's annoy the world together! *^-^* **Setsuri**, thank you for the gifts! *glomps pack of strawberry pocky* Haha! I inserted something in this chapter about strawberry pocky for you ^____^ And yes, Fujisaki-sama will have his very own chapter next *all hail the genius that is Fujisaki Suguru*. **silvercross**, kyaaah! *major glomp and sings, "It's a small world after all..."* Thank you for reading this fanfic. As for SD...ehe...ehehehe...*hides behind her chair* Rukawa-sama is such an arsehole! I don't know what to do with him! *throws temper tantrum* SD is currently on hiatus for me right now, I'm sorry. I kind of lost interest in SD pretty quickly, I'm really so very sorry! o I hope you understand, I'm really really really very sorry *teary eyes and apologizes over and over*. **mad melma**, thank you for reviewing! Hai, I hope you would review again so I'd know if I'm doing as well I'm expected to ^-^ **yamatoforever**, thank you for reviewing again! Tatsuha and Ryuichi may be up to something. Actually, I think all the characters are o.O Things will come together in the end, so please be patient! **Chibi Kitty**, yes, there will be more! Thank you for the enthusiastic review! **Astralkitten**, thank you, I still have much bug spray ^___^ Besides, I wrote this in the middle of the day, so not much bugs =P I found out that inspiration comes during the evening, so I thought that nighttime is the right time for me to contemplate on what I should write about and just write them in the morning ^_____^ Thank you for reviewing again! *glomps* And yes, love Tatsuha because he is a god himself, he just won't admit it, mwahaha! **hopeanne**, wow, you reviewed the chapters one by one! ^____^ Thank you! And thank you for liking the Mika chappy. It's so good to know that people didn't find it bad, thank you so much. Thank you thank you thank you so much to everybody!

Again, crappy lyrics are written by me. I noticed that Japanese lyrics tend to be more poetic than Western lyrics, and that's why I have a special fondness for them, and that's why I really tried to follow that "tradition". I like to consider myself a poetry lover; words usually blow me away. You can make me go teary-eyed by singing to me a song with beautiful lyrics. Hyah, I'm _that_ pathetic ^_________^


	7. Suguru Fujisaki

Again, Maki Murakami = goddess. Me = really really pathetic human who has nothing better to do with life. 

All hail Fujisaki Suguru! *throws rose petals around* Fujisaki's my ultimate favorite character in Gravitation. He reminds me so much of myself, (I'm really very quiet in real life, and really very moody ^^;). Oh, and if anybody would think about it, Fujisaki-sama would be 18 years old by now in this story, surely he does mild curses every once in a while. Anyway, that's it for initial ramblings!

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 7 - Suguru Fujisaki)**

I have come to the decision that I will never get myself a girlfriend unless it's completely necessary. And by completely necessary, I mean around 30 or older where I'd look completely stupid if I'm not yet married kind of necessary. I think those things are just more trouble than they're worth. Let's just say that squealing girls who expect you to worship the ground they walk upon - or girls who _would_ want to worship the ground _you_ walk upon - are just not my cup of tea.

Of course, I have nothing against people who think otherwise, but personally speaking, I kind of think that giving somebody the opportunity to hurt you is kind of stupid. There are many other priorities in one's life, and centering it on Just. One. Person. really is a very bizarre bargain. Also, the whole sappy image is a bit off putting. I mean, Nakano-san is usually a charming guy, but utter the name "Ayaka" within his hearing and he'd turn into this gooey thing more unstable than a ton of jell-o atop a skyscraper. 

Hm, not everybody seems to share the same opinion, though. I should know, almost everyone around me is somehow paired with somebody. I'm so sorry, I try to mind my own business, but I just don't see the point. I've always thought this way and I tried to tell myself to stop making other people's stupidity my problem, but this certain opinion of mine kind of rekindled itself especially now when I spend every single day with a really miserable Shuichi Shindou. Before, it didn't bother me as much because Shindou-san still does his work. Unlike before when he'd sulk for the whole day and do _absolutely_ nothing, at least now he's doing his best to meet deadlines and such. Also, Nakano-san tends to treat us to a lot of places just to cheer Shindou-san up. But I don't know. I mean, spending years of my life with these people attached me to them somehow. Of course I get bothered by these things, too. I'm not _that_ cold. 

Oh, don't get me wrong. Shindou-san's doing a great job trying to not let his personal life get to him and his career, and Bad Luck's fans still know nothing about the whole Eiri Yuki thing. He still greets his fans with his usual smile, and he keeps his jumpy personality when faced with reporters. It's almost admirable really. You'd think he's just a simple-minded individual, but if you spend enough time watching - like I've done for so long if anybody bothered to notice - you'd see how his character truly plays. 

And speaking of watching, that's exactly what I'm doing right now. Nakano-san's telling us about something about candies and such, not minding the fact that Shindou-san's not being as enthusiastic as he should be. He still wears the same interested look, but I don't know, maybe it's just me. 

Meanwhile, I think Nakano-san's doing a pretty good job handling Shindou-san. After all, he was the one who first made him smile, but I suppose that that is just natural being that they're best friends. Oh, and if you're waiting for me to break down whining about being out of place, I'm sorry to say that you might be disappointed. I don't exactly have a best friend, but I do have my own connections. Shindou and Nakano-san do consider me as one of them now that we've been together for two years more or less. But I've always enjoyed my times alone, and as long as I know I've got people behind my back, you can say that I consider that enough for me. I'm not very comfortable around too many people. Nakano-san even asked me once to stop calling him and Shindou-san the way I do, but I don't know, old habits die hard, and they _are_ older than I am. Respect is given where respect is worth, or so to say. 

Anyway, while sitting here drinking my milk shake, I caught a glimpse of a few girls who just entered the restaurant. I met the eyes of one of them, and I think they recognized who we were. I knew we should've worn sunglasses, but my two band mates just won't have it. The two were oblivious to the girls though, so only I had to put up with having to smile at them. The one I was looking at turned away and giggled, and their tinkling voices drifted away as they took a seat somewhere in the near vicinity. I could still feel them looking even when they passed us by. 

This brings me back to the whole girlfriend thing. I swear, it's rare to find anyone who won't giggle if you smile at them. I know that I'm less popular than my other band mates, but I do have my own fans. Don't expect me to be too humble about it, I'm not like that, and it's pretty obvious that some girls _are_ pitiful enough to go for the quiet, workaholic type. I never really found myself especially good-looking either, but who am I to say what girls like anyway? Besides, the fact that I'm the only single Bad Luck member might've added to the appeal. 

Wait a second. Why am I limiting my thoughts to girls? After all, Shindou-san's with Yuki-san, and even if Nakano-san all but declared himself straight and taken, there _was_ a time when some guy put the moves on him (don't ask what happened to mentioned guy). Not that I think that'll ever happen to me. All I'm saying is that there's that possibility. But no, I think my opinion goes up for the guys as well. 

Now that I think about it, I think I really can last long without having to have any significant other. Take Ryuichi Sakuma for one. He's single, but he seems all right, with his penchant for talking to inanimate objects set aside. He gained much respect to himself on his own. Then again, watching him talk to a banana can be kind of cute, especially during those times when said banana would turn out to be Shindou-san. I think he gets a lot of supporters being that way. But I don't know, I'm not like that. But maybe I still could go for the singles line. Sure, he seems to be with Yuki-san's brother most of the time, but it's the fact that he lasted 30 years without seeming to have a steady partner that appeals to me.

And...speak of the devil. I seem to have this uncanny ability to sense a lot of things lately. Unless I'm seeing things, there's Sakuma-san looking around by the door right now. He seemed to be looking for something. I kept my eyes on him, wondering if he's looking for us. And yes, he seemed to be looking for us, or at least one of us, for now he's walking towards our table. 

"Shuichi?" he asked, catching Shindou-san's eyes. Shindou-san looked up at him and stared, eyebrows shot up curiously. Something doesn't seem right. For one thing, Ryuichi Sakuma greets Shuichi Shindou with an overly enthusiastic dive that would all but break all things breakable within five meters' radius. But now, he just stood there, his face betraying none of his usual childish expressions. And unless he's keeping the thing somewhere inside his jacket, his little pink bunny seems to be out of action as well. 

Standing there staring at Bad Luck's lead singer is a disturbingly serious Ryuichi Sakuma. 

Shindou-san seemed to notice as well, for he frowned up at Sakuma-san. "Uh, Sakuma-san, is anything wrong?" he asked hesitantly in his worried voice. 

But no more words were spoken, and unless you cross out the respective gasps from me and Nakano-san, the whole table - no, the whole _place _itself - seemed to fall silent when Nittle Grasper's Ryuichi Sakuma grabbed Bad Luck's Shuichi Shindou And. Kissed. Him. Right. Then. And. There. 

Everyone, myself included, seem to be at a loss for words. Shindou-san, and _especially _Shindou-san, was not an exception. Staring wide eyed now at one of his supposed best friends next to Nakano-san, he was somehow rendered speechless by the sudden act. And he should be. Not only was he kissed by somebody _not_ Eiri Yuki, but he was just kissed _in public_. Almost the whole of Japan knows that the lead singer of Bad Luck is really close with the lead singer of Nittle Grasper. What would this make them think? 

Somehow, I woke up from the daze faster than everyone else, and the quick flash of what seemed to be a camera registered in my head. Not knowing what else to think, only one thought crossed my mind. 

_Shit._

* * * * *

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?!?"

I sat quietly in one of the waiting rooms in NG, listening to Sakano-san rambling about the latest showbiz gossip shown on TV. Behind him stood K-san with a serious look on his face. What happened yesterday immediately went around like wildfire across the city. I doubt you'd find anybody who doesn't know about Shuichi Shindou's latest. Still shaken up about it all, I listen to the TV, trying not to be bothered by Sakano-san's cries. 

_"Ryuichi Sakuma? But how did that happen?"_

_"Well, apparently a good amount of witnesses have seen it. Bad Luck was eating in the Yamasaki House when Sakuma-san burst in and kissed Shuichi Shindou. Not many people saw Shindou-san's reaction though, so we can't really say anything about it." _

_"But isn't Shindou-san with the novelist, Eiri Yuki?"_

_"Well, yes, that's what we know. But through one of our sources, it seems as though Shindou-kun isn't living with Yuki-san anymore. He's staying at Bad Luck's guitarist, Nakano Hiroshi's house since the last two weeks. Many fans assumed that they broke up."_

_"Oh, I see. But that's just too bad. Eiri Yuki and Shindou Shuichi made such a cute couple. Remember that time when Shindou-san defended Yuki-san from our reporters? And Yuki-san doing the gesture back by declaring their relationship in public? I thought that it was all so sweet."_

_"Yes, but do also be reminded that it was Bad Luck has been rivaling Nittle Grasper for the past years, and Sakuma-san never seemed to mind. He's always the one who declared many of Bad Luck's achievements through the help of NG president and Nittle Grasper member, Tohma Seguchi."_

_"Yes, you're right! Could it be that Sakuma-san's been trying to rival Yuki-san all these years? Yuki and Shindou are good together, but Ryuichi Sakuma is not so bad either, and he is a just as great hit with the fans as Yuki-san."_

_"Anyway, awards night will come in a few weeks' time. Maybe Shindou-san would surprise us?"_

"Oh, what have I done in my past life to deserve these things!?!?" 

Sakano-san's voice blocked the sounds of the TV remarkably well, but I don't mind. I lost any remaining interest in the latest gossips, I've heard enough. What does Sakuma-san think he's playing at? I never thought he liked Shindou-san that way. Their relationship seemed pretty platonic over the past years, and now he just appears out of nowhere and does...this!? I wonder what Seguchi-san has to say about this. I wonder what Yuki-san would say!

Ugh, great. K-san just told us that Nakano-san called and said that Shindou-san's calling in sick for today. Had I been more emotional, I would stomp over there and demand what Sakuma-san wanted with Shindou-san. I mean, the guy's pretty okay, but I wonder if he even thought about what this could do to Bad Luck. To Nittle Grasper. To the name of Eiri Yuki. 

Sighing, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the door. Looks like there won't be any scheduled practice today with things like this running amuck. Really, these things are causing too much trouble than they're worth. A kiss can damage a whole city as much as an machine gun could, even if the gun is in K-san's hands. And that's saying a lot. 

I could almost feel a headache coming in. Oh hell. Isn't it funny that I find reading a cure for headaches instead of the other way around? But who could blame me? With my current life, it's like I'm living in pathetic boat in the middle of an ocean storm. You'd think that two years of working with these guys would help me cope, but I don't know. Either I'm much too introverted or people are just far too crazy for my own liking. 

Or maybe it works both ways? Ah, who cares? I need an aspirin. 

**End of chapter 7**

Aah yes...aren't gossip shows just annoying? ^.^ 

Wow. That was hard! I didn't know how Fujisaki-sama should narrate things, so I'm not sure if this chapter is as good as it can get, I'm so sorry! Fujisaki's character is a bit detached, so it's hard to make him all emotional unlike the other former characters. *hugs Fujisaki plushy* I wonder if any of you expected that kiss coming though ^.^' Neee...before you all decide to drown me in a fish bowl, do allow me to finish this story first and see what'll happen. But I just had this sudden revelation that Ryuichi-sama isn't so bad for Shuichi, kind of like me thinking of Kuroro as a potential pair for Illumi besides Hisoka...but that's another story ^____^ Hm...Tatsuha Tatsuha...wonder what I'll do with him now? *thinks real hard but stops because her head started to hurt* Aah...I hate it when I'm nearing endings . Anyway, 3 chapters to go and we're all done! ^__________^

Big Kumagoro holding heart-shaped pillows to: **Astralkitten** (Well? ^.^ This antic open and crazy enough for you? Ryuichi is a really complicated character. I don't even know if he'd actually do this or not, but what the hell XP), **tsu **(thanks for reviewing, every single one counts! ^.^), **hopeanne** (thanks for the nice words! *ooh! pocky!*), **mad melma **(Aaw, Ryuichi-sama isn't so bad. I mean, his head's really interesting. A found a pretty pink pansy on the west wing! *insane cackle* --so much for coming out sane. Oh, and right. I hope Ryuichi's "whack on the head" works for you! ^.^), **coherentidiot **(Hehe, I liked talking about Kumagoro. I think he can be a really good friend if I try hard enough! ^____^), **yamatoforever **(Yikes...the more I read into my reviews, the more I feel the omen of drowning in a fish bowl o.O But don't worry, Ryuichi-sama will get back to his usual self right around chapter 9. He still has a gift to give, remember? ^.~), **Megamie **(Of all my reviewers, your guess was the nearest description to Ryuichi's plan. Yep, it could be _anything_ ^.^ Yes, poor Tatsuha...I should make a gift for him too! ^0^), **Kamikakushi** (Lots of you really like Ryuichi, don't you? ^.^ Wah, I love him too! Yep, Tohma will come eventually, so please wait!), **MorganD **(Hehe, lovely bastard Yuki being put into place ^.^ Thanks! I'm updating as much as I can ^____^), **kurayami **(Whoa! You're the second one I know here! Hyah, it IS a small world after all, ne? ^.^ Ehe, you liked chapter 3 too? o.O Hm...ironic seeing that that chapter's the one I'm most scared about ^^; Anyway, I'm glad you liked this one! Eherm...I should update my other fics soon, shouldn't I? *sheepish grin*), **Sesshoumaru LUVER **(Yeesh! Another one praising Ryuichi. I hope you don't mind the whole plan thing =P Thanks for the review!), **Evacrostian **(I'm glad you like this fanfic! As for mailing lists, no, I'm sorry to say that I'm not a part of any. I'm kind of new as far as Gravitation is concerned, this is just my first try on a fanfic [and hell am I glad it's well-liked ^0^]. Does anybody know a good Gravi mailing list I can join? ^.^) 


	8. Sakano

Gack! It's almost two months! Would it matter if I apologize? . I will anyway. I'm so sorry if this came out _really_ late. I haven't been having much inspiration lately and...*tearful eyes* I'm just really sorry! I can't promise you anything because I'm not even sure if I'll be as quick as before. But two more chapters and it's aaaaa~ll done. Bleh, I suck! 0

Usual disclaimers. Maki Murakami owns Gravitation and all I have is a gray mass called a brain. It is this very same mass that I use to come up with these things ^.^

**LESSONS IN LIFE  
(Chapter 8 - Sakano)**

Many times during my younger days, I told myself that I would be more than happy to die in the presence of Tohma Seguchi. He's my role model in a way. There's so much in him to admire and respect, so much to fear yet so much to look up to. Whenever I stop to think about my life before I ever set my eyes on him, all I come up with is a big, fat blank. I know I'm sounding delirious, but in some point of my life, he became the world, and to die for the world is very much worth it all. 

Well, of course, I was so young then. But still, this was a good chance to live up to a childhood dream. In a few seconds from now, I might as well drop dead in Tohma Seguchi's office room.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really so sorry, Seguchi-san! I know why I'm here, it's about the rumors about Sakuma-san running around lately and it's my fault for not keeping my eyes open and I might as well kick Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper out of business because of my carelessness so I know I'm somehow responsible--"

"Sakano-san."

"--so if you'd be so kind enough as to just poison me to death instead of using a gun because somehow K-san kind of gave me a growing fright against those things--"

"Sakano-san."

"But I have to say that it's been nice working with him nonetheless and I tried my best so if there's any consolation--"

"Sakano-san!"

I abruptly stopped my rambling when Seguchi-san's voice finally rose an octave higher, thus, catching my attention. I get nervous quickly, and I tend to ramble about senseless things whenever I do. It uses up the adrenaline, I suppose. Somehow, I always burst up these frustrations in front of Seguchi-san for heaven knows what reason. You've got to admire him. I mean, years of my incoherent babbling and you'd think he would've shot me with one of K's magnums or something but no, Seguchi-san's ever so patient.

This is the signal for me to calm down and shut up because it's his turn to speak. It's always like this whenever I'm called to come to his office. I aim to please. So shoot me and all, but I all but dedicated my life to please this man. 

As usual, he turns to me and graces me with that ever-present smile. I wonder why it's always like that. He's always with a smile, may it be even a smirk or whatever, it's always there. I often think about that actually. I mean, come on, nobody can be _that_ optimistic, right? 

"You've said something about the news around tabloids. And you're right, that's one of the reasons why I called you here," Seguchi-san started. Oh boy. Someone hand him a wooden bat before he actually pulls out a gun. Would he be able to use a gun though? He smiles a lot it's almost unbelievable to think he's even capable of murder. He goes on speaking. "But you need not worry. All I'll be asking of you is a favor." 

"A...a favor?" I stuttered. Pathetic, isn't it? But I swear it upon my future grave. Standing in front of Seguchi-san is like standing in front of Kami-sama himself. Everyday is judgment day as far as I'm concerned. But what the hell is the problem? I panic a lot and Seguchi-san smiles a lot and I'll be relieved then he'll smile again and I'll smile back until my face cracks because Seguchi-san has such a nice smile and he can wear it like some famous fashion statement while I can wear it for but a while. What's my point in this? I panic around him even when it isn't necessary. I've known this for years, but I'm afraid of disappointing him, that's all. 

I remember Suguru when I think of this. Like me, he also aims to please Seguchi-san, and that's why he works so hard. Seguchi-san has that effect on people I guess. He's so kind that all you want to do is to keep him smiling. So much of a leader. I am so glad I work for him. 

Okay. Take that down. So far, that's the seventy-fifth time I said that this month. And to think the month just started three days ago. I might be breaking my record for December after all. But then again, I said that fifty times in a row when I got bored yesterday so I don't know if the fifty times thing would count. Oh, but I digress. Anyway... 

"These news will surely affect Bad Luck," began Seguchi-san, cutting my line of thought. "Do not worry too much about Ryuichi. He's been in this career for years, and a small problem such as this will not affect him. But I am afraid it might affect Shindou's performance. He's been singing for two years now, but he has always stood by Eiri. Unanimously proclaimed as one of the most loved couple by their fans, it never crossed Shindou's mind that something like this could happen to him. 

"What I want you to do is to make sure all of Bad Luck's activities go as smoothly as they should. Personal problems should not get in the way if you still want things to go as they had before. I've tried to speak with Ryuichi, but he won't say anything about it. I'm so sorry for all this trouble, Sakano-san." 

It took a while for those words to register in my really thick skill. But once they did, I quickly shook my head and automatically bowed in front of Seguchi-san. "It's no bother, shachou. I'll do my best," I said, keeping my head low. 

"I know you would," said Seguchi-san, and there's that smile again. It can end a raging war, I swear my life on it. 

Geez. One would get the idea that I was in love with the guy. K once asked me during one of our coffee breaks about it. It was a joke, but really, one can't help but feel uneasy. Don't get me wrong, Seguchi-san's charisma is well-known, but no, I'm not in love with him. My devotion for him is like a student's devotion to a mentor, or something like that. After all, he was the reason why I got into the music industry to begin with. 

"Okay, that about sums it up, Sakano-san. Thank you for your time. I think I should call Mika and tell her I'll be home early. Which should I cook: burgers or pasta?" he asked, that ever-present smile on his face. I also noticed that Seguchi-san's been spending a lot of time with his wife these past few days. Not that he doesn't have the right to, but I never really thought they were very close. Both of them seem to be so busy all the time. But him being closer to her is good, right? He seems so happier than usual these past few days. I wonder what happened. 

"Uhm, pasta I think," I said, not really knowing which to say. But I heard that Seguchi-san makes really mean pasta. Some sort of specialty I think. So yeah, I think that one's the better answer. 

"You think so?" he asked. He thought for a while, then gave me a smile yet again. "Yes, I think that's good. Mika's been having a bit of an appetite lately, so I wouldn't want her getting angry with me by feeding her foods with so much cholesterol," he said, letting out a short chuckle. "Thank you again, Sakano-san. Good luck with Shindou-san." 

I stepped out of the office and took a long, deep breath. That went pretty well. Without my initial panic anyway. I really should get it inside my head that Seguchi-san never meant me any harm. But yeah, he still scares me. But after regaining my composure, I straightened myself up and started looking for K. 

* * * * * 

Uhm...okay, so that wasn't so bad. It actually went so well that I feel as though the world is planning something behind my back and is just playing dumb with me. It's like this. I finally convinced myself that I can't let Seguchi-san down - although that goes without saying from the very beginning - so I called Nakano up to check on Shindou. A few minutes into the conversation, Shindou's voice dominated the phone, and he himself told me that he was fine and would be coming back to NG to finish his album. 

So now, here I am lounging on the same spot with K. We practically own this corner of the lobby since Bad Luck always seems to be late every time a meeting is scheduled. I hate these times. I have nothing to do but bite my nails, hoping that the members of the band I'm taking care of won't get themselves killed by the media or something that would hinder them from finishing their work. 

"Sakano-san, stop fidgeting. They'll be here," K's voice said, followed by a quiet sip from his coffee cup. How can he do it? How can he be so calm at a time like this!?!? "They're always late. I know that there's nothing to worry about. Besides, this is Shuichi we're talking about. He's a strong kid, y'know," he said, almost as if he's reading my thoughts. I stare at the man for a good few minutes, wondering whether or not he's psychic or something. It's almost as if he knows everything that's about to happen. Why can't I be like that? 

I sighed. "I don't know. It's just that it's been--" 

But my words were cut off by a violent rumbling of the ground. There were some pretty loud banging and crashing from the hallway across from us, and K and I looked at the direction from which the noises came from. Sure enough, a puff of smoke came up and wheezed past me to land on K's lap. 

"K~!!!" said the puff of smoke. It more like gushed actually, and 'it' is holding on to K's arm like a vice. 

K groaned. "Ryuichi," he mumbled, an uneasy grin on his face. His eyebrow was twitching as he tried to unlatch Sakuma-san from his arm. 

But the singer didn't seem to budge and he just looked up at K with big puppy eyes. Wow. For a man over 30, you'd think he was so much younger than Suguru. "Ne ne, I heard Shuichi is coming back. Is it true, is it true? Is he here yet? Is he, is he?" he asked, almost bouncing in his place while shaking K vigorously. 

I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. I forgot that Ryuichi Sakuma also stays here in NG. It would be so awkward to have him and Shindou together. Shindou has been hiding from Sakuma for quite a while now. Though whether or not the singer of Nittle Grasper doesn't see it or just chose to ignore it, I'm not entirely sure. 

K gave me a sidelong glance, and something told me that he knew what I was thinking. Aah, there it was again, the psychic thing. What did I tell you? 

After finally taking Sakuma off his neck, K said, "Yes, Ryuichi, he's coming back and no, he's not here yet." 

"Hurray!" exclaimed Sakuma. I don't think he even heard the last thing K said. Really. A man over 30. I really haven't much to say about the guy. Sakuma seemed to be looking for something as he dug up something from behind him. It took but a few moments for a familiar pink bunny to emerge. "Kumagoro, did you hear that? Shuichi-kun is back!" he said and jumped off of K. 

"By any chance, you're not planning on doing _anything_, are you?" asked K, giving Sakuma what seemed like a suspicious look. 

"Hm?" asked Sakuma, glancing up from his bunny to K. "What is K talking about? I just want to see Shuichi and say hello to him! Kumagoro and I missed him so much, isn't that right, Kumagoro?" He proceeded on glomping the little bunny. "But that's too bad because Ryuichi is going somewhere and he can't wait. Oh well, maybe we can see Shuichi next time, ne?" I didn't think it was possible, but his grin just widened. And his face didn't even crack. Wow again. That leaves only Ukai-san and the whole of Nittle Grasper might just be proclaimed the music band that has the biggest smiles. 

K was still anxious - well, as far as 'anxious' looked like with him anyway. He's still pretty calm, but I guess I've been spending far too much time with him that I can already read him. Did I mentioned that Bad Luck is always late? K looked up at Sakuma. "Ryuichi, you're not going to do something like that thing on the restaurant again, would you?" he asked. 

Sakuma stopped playing with his bunny and looked at K again. "Eh? You mean the--"

"Yo, Ryuichi!"

The three of us looked up at the sound of that voice. And right there by the entrance doors of NG stood Yuki-san's younger brother, Tatsuha Uesugi. He's been spending a lot of time with Sakuma, or so I just noticed. From what I remember from Shindou, this Tatsuha kid has a huge crush on Sakuma. I guess he finally got close to him. I'm quite sure he knows about that thing that happened between Sakuma and Shindou (who doesn't?), but he doesn't seem to be anywhere near bitter about it. He actually looked like he was _glowing_.

My line of thought was yet again cut off as Sakuma's high-pitched...uh, squeal echoed through the main lobby. "Tatsuha~!!!" he called out, _literally_ tackling the young man in welcome. It was almost as if they haven't seen each other for a while, and that I rather doubt. So that kind of says a lot.

"Heh, good morning to you, too! So, are you ready to go?" he asked, straightening himself from Sakuma's tackle. 

"Yep!" said Sakuma, and as he said this, he placed Kumagoro on Tatsuha's shoulder before turning back to me and K. "Ne, I'm sorry for bothering you, so I'll be going now. See you two later!" he said, waving to us before pushing Tatsuha out the main doors.

K and I were silent as we watched the two out. The glass doors allowed us to see them still as they walked away. Their backs faced us, but we can somehow see Sakuma saying something to Tatsuha, to which the younger man gestured the other to come closer. Sakuma did so and Tatsuha leaned in to whisper something to him. Sakuma leaned back and blinked for a second, before looking behind him to catch K's eyes. I looked alternately at him and K, only to land still on the man outside again as he grinned brightly and waved at K like an innocent child who didn't just kiss the lead singer of the band K was managing. 

Oh yes, Ryuichi Sakuma can get away with murder. As for K, he sat there with a frown on his face, deep in thought. For a while I just sat there quietly, watching for any changes on his facial expression. By the time I got none, I decided to wake him up. 

"Uh...K-san? Are you all right?" I asked, leaning in to poke him on the arm. 

It took a while for him to respond, and when he did, I had to lean back to avoid getting smacked on the face. K was...well, _beaming_, to put things simply. "Ooh, I get it..." he drawled, his blue eyes twinkling in mischief, and he cast yet another side glance towards the main doors to the street from which Sakuma and Tatsuha took a turn. He then cast his eyes on me, and I almost flinched at the wide grin he wore. 

"Er, you got what, K-san?" I asked tentatively, though I doubt he can even hear me. He was _that_ lost in thought.

"I think we'll be all right after all, Sakano-san!" he said happily, still grinning. 

Gods, these people really scare me. Everybody knows something I don't. Granted, I'm not as deep as most people are and half the time I panic more than anything, but it's just that I get really paranoid over the littlest things. And this, _this_ situation where my co-worker's grinning from ear to ear and practically cackling under his breath...well, who can blame me when I say I'm scared?

It's times like these that I miss just being a simple fan boy who pays for concert tickets instead of being the one behind the production of the said events. But still, I also like working for Seguchi-san. This thought brings me comfort. I am so glad I work for him.

And that's the seventy-sixth.

**End of Chapter 8**

Oh yeah, this _royally _sucks, big time. This chapter is kind of rushed because I really am waaaay off schedule and I never really sympathized with Sakano much. I do like him, but I just don't think I can be one with his thoughts because we're not in the least bit alike . I miss Fujisaki so much! *hugs Fujisaki plushy*

I'll make this short because I really can't face you people now. *hides face in shame* Special hugs go to **incoherence**, **Megamie**,** silvercross **(thank you for liking the last chapter! And yeah, I like Ryuichi x Shuichi too, but they're so cute as just friends too, ne? ^.^), **futagoakuma-tenshi01 **(uhm, well, using different perspectives is the style of the fic. It's an experimental thing ^^; And the kiss...eh, it'll pay off in the next chapter ^.~), **mad melma**, **hopeanne**, **Astralkitten**, **yamatoforever **(oh yeah, post the next chapter quickly. Two months...I'm so sorry! *bangs head on her table*), **MorganD**, **nanami27 **(I didn't update for so long 0 I royally screwed it this time...*bangs head again*), **aoi_megumi**, **Aishiteru **(I love long reviews! *glomps* Thank you! And about Fujisaki, self-centered? Ehe, I don't know...but whoa, does that mean I'm self-centered too? o.O), **Kamikakushi**, **Leina** and **Yui-Mag**. Oh yeah, and special thanks to **Mikuro Kurayami**. I just finished my other fic and you pushed to another chaptered one again. Yyep, my life gets better by the minute, doesn't it? ^^; 

Feedbacks are always appreciated! ^____^ I'm so sorry again! 0


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